do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
