how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize