in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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