I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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