i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i drank out of a bidet.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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