Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My Higher Power is John Stamos
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize