let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
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Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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