Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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