It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize