U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
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she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
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It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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