I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize