Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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