I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
