I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
