I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
