She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you have to choose: penises or morals?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
