I'm drive I can fine osifer
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
