I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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