She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
