evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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