i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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