I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
