Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
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I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
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My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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