Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
there is glitter all over my balls
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