# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
