I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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