i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
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I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
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I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
There are leaves in my underwear?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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