White coat. Heels.
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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