I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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