just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
