would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
