Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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