I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
