if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
