oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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