is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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