Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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