forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
