I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
