omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
