I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
