Is it normal to miss your booty call?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
