We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
