Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
