he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
