eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
