What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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