Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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