dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
