Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
