My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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