Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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