the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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