He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
FUCK WHALES
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