Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We got so high we made milksteak
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I know her cup size but not her name....
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