question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
being pregnant is like rehab
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
