Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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