question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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