He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
