1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
