Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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